Emotional "Caloric Deficit"

I came to a lot of conclusions this week about why we search for ourselves in the validation of others and why social media, consuming media, material things, etc., have such a strong pull on us. The conclusion was this: we don’t feel safe to be ourselves unless someone outside of us tells us it is valid. Because of this—and all the implications that come with it—we are in a constant emotional diet.

Let’s use diet culture as an analogy. The diet industry, like many others, thrives on our lack of understanding about ourselves and our lack of trust in our own bodies. It continuously creates a sense of lack so that we never feel we are good enough or doing enough. Because of that—and this comes from someone who used to binge eat and then train for two hours to compensate—we exist in a constant state of deprivation, widening the gap between listening to our bodies and understanding our own needs.

When it comes to authenticity and emotional balance, I feel it follows the same principle. We live in a society that pushes fear and shame and constantly gaslights us about our own feelings to divert our attention from the truth: we are already perfect as we are. Separation is an illusion, and nothing is 100% bad or 100% good (though that’s a whole other conversation for another time). We are so deprived of being our true selves that we fall into a constant cycle of binge and restriction, which manifests in many different ways—ways that, unsurprisingly, society also uses to shame us. Instead of recognizing these as normal symptoms of a soul deprived of what it truly wants and needs, we are told to suppress them.

So, the next time you and I feel shame for wanting to be seen, for wanting to be heard, or for simply being whoever we are—because it doesn’t fit the role that society expects—let’s remember this: maybe the key is being compassionate with ourselves. Maybe it’s about allowing ourselves to have that emotional brownie with full acceptance, knowing that it’s what we need in that moment. And in the next moment, we do our best to accept and honor those desires until we find balance again—until we can trust our intuition and our own voice.

It’s scary as fuck, but I think this is what people mean when they say that all secrets and all answers are within. We just need to find a way back to ourselves. And that might mean understanding the external factors that either amplify our fears or give us the support and safety to dive deep within.

2 post in the same day means that at some point I will have a hiatus. 😆

Francisca